I Hate This || When Will You Start

I hate this feeling that I always feel

I wish I could just think it away...

That this situation wasn't real...

Yet...

You can't stop the concept of reality, can you

Nope

You sure can't.

I 

used to be always looked at with disappointment

I

used to be always laughed at because I was different

I 

used to always sleep in and wake up late because my body's exhaustion was present all the time

I

want it to stop...

Please...

Make it stop.

SO THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO DO

Realizing that it does me more harm than good

Realizing that my health is in jeopardy when I don't go up for food

Realizing that it's no excuse to say that you can't because with disciplined effort, the concept of "can" will change to could 

Realizing that the isolation from the family, the constant feeling of being attacked, can finally disappear...

If I just...

Changed my ways...

When will I change, when will I stop my destructive habits, and pick up the beneficial one

When will I finally realize that I can build a stronger, better life for myself 

If I just...

Changed my ways...

So Shizzelle, tell me

You hate feeling this way so much, don't you?

Knowing that you have gained new insight into changing your habits to live a better life

The Question Remains...

When will you start...?

~Shizzelle 5/25/20, Submitted 8:40 pm

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"How Does She Do It"

How Do You Do It?

  ~Shizzelle~

No many how many times people ask me

How. How do you it Shelly?

How do you manage to do so much, yet still manage to put on that happy face, that smile, to laugh the way you do, to constantly make people feel loved, to be so friendly.

How do you manage to be so strong, when just recently you are experiencing the pain of being alone when you have been with someone that you loved for so long.

How Shelly, how do you stay so happy?

How do you allow yourself to stay up so late at night doing homework just to get it done

While others give themselves a break, and let themselves have a little bit of fun?

Why do you allow yourself to have so much on your plate, while you could be missing out on something that could be your fate?

People see you all the time, and they wonder who you are, and why you are the way you are, and wonder how you do what you do

After the act of befriendship happens, you are told that all they see you do is work so hard and yet you still have a lot that you go through

They tell you you should have fun, you should let loose a little bit, to try to not be as uptight  , but to save yourself from so much explanation, you do your best to convince them that you are alright.

Too much to say and explain to try to make them understand how your mind works with your body and your drive, so to save time  for yourself and for them, when they ask you, "how does she do it?" I'll just say, just watch, observe, understand, as I continue to strive.

 

Poet's Thoughts: "What's up guys, it is me Shelly aka Shizzelle here. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my newest update here on my website! If you liked what you read, please do me the biggest favor, and give it a like, comment, and share my poetry with friends and family! Below are my different mediums that you can find more of my poetry and quotes alike. See you there!
Instagram: @shaiko_poetry
Fb Page: Shaiko's Daily Inspiration
I will be working eventually to update this website when I have time and as my team and network grows, as well as the rest of my mediums but for now, all the support and shares will be definitely appreciated! Don't forget to hit that like button, comment your thoughts, and please share my poems! Thank you all so much~

Best, 
Shizzelle <3

Check out my Makeup Poem!!!

~Makeup~

As I take off my make up I took a moment to stop to realize the good job that I took the time 

to do this morning and how true it was that my face was shining I stare deeply into mine 

own eyes and I stare deeply to a soul who inside cannot help but cry all the time.

My mind then goes back in time to all the people that have complimented me to all the 

people that said that I am pretty to all the people that treat me like a celebrity and I ask 

myself who am I really am I really happy do they know about my lack of sanity.

I then manage to continue to clean my face, remembering the act of doing so is beneficial in 

many ways others may want to keep the makeup on their fact to make sure they don't lose 

their confidence and feel like a disgrace of who they are or don't have to face the reality that 

beauty is not only on the outside it's also who they are as a person and what is inside of their 

heart.

**Listen to my soundcloud version of me saying this verse in spoken word** Link Below

Makeup Spoken Word by Shaiko

Pioneer Newspaper Journey

Pioneer

By Shizzell Aiko

March 2, 2018

An official team member of The Pioneer Newspaper


A friendly Christian face to say hi to one person and shake hands with another


To continue being an inspiration to those who see my upbeat spirit


To appreciate the encouragements of others who have seen me in buses and express their excitement


Its truly more of an honor and a drive to continue to be an iconic good influence to those who watch me

As I continue to strive to spend God with time daily on a lifelong journey


To know the entirety of the campus, from building to individuals, to faculty to students, to announcement and events


To have an opportunity to use my poetic skills to inspire and inform others


To become involved in the institution before I am met with busyness in the very near future.


To discover new interests such as photography and more


To trust God with every step and every second as He keeps showing new opportunities to open doors.


Photoshoot Credit: Taken by Yours Truly

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Squad

A time greatly needed to happen A time of fellowship with some of my homies and friends Thankful if even there was only one But thankful for these 7 (one not in the pic) that helped me relax with some fellowship and funMy CNA struggle this past 8 weeksI had literally moments where I was so close to giving up and cry on my kneesSo I was determined to celebrate in a way where I could fully express That I was SO thankful that I suffered through it and succeeded. YESSSSI went through moments if sacrifice once again with bonded timeFamily time, free time, relax time and moreJust know that no matter how hard the task maybeI'm willing to sacrifice whatever necessary to make sure I get that victory .Stress can be defeatedRelaxation can be achievedBe smart, plan, think aheadAnd good healthy beneficial times can be received.

~Lil_Aiko

At this point, is it really possible for me to start all over?

Friends, personality, situations, love, and more?

Is it possible?

Tell me your thoughts

~LilAiko

Final Results by Shizzell_the_poet

~Final Results~
Sat down on the seat
As soon as I entered
Felt kinda hungry, wanting a treat
But looked up to see I had a letter
Well in this generation they rather prefer "email"
But all thoughts subsided when I was wondering with my Microbiology final if I'll pass or fail

It's there
Its posted
Anxiously pulling my hair
Blood rushing through my head

Wondering what I got
What I got wrong or right, whether It's a lot

Well here I go
Checking in d2l
Deep inside
I just hope I did well.

~Shizzell_the_poet